What Happened to the Blog?

So some of you may wonder what happened to my blogging after the pandemic started and I decided to reboot it. Well, the answer is that our beloved Basenji developed kidney failure and other age-related health problems and in much too short a span of time we had to say goodbye to my precious Piggly (otherwise known as Rascal). That put me into a new level of depression and ramped up my anxiety so much that writer’s block ensued.

As time stretched on with the pandemic and I had to self-quarantine due to being high-risk, I became socially isolated and this definitely did nothing to improve my mental health. A decline in mental health equals a decline in my writing, unfortunately for me. So I blogged in my head, more or less, or at the very least thought of blog fodder and got frustrated because I had severe writer’s block most of the past year and a half.

Next week I’ll ask my therapist to help me with this issue. I’m pretty sure I know at least one thing she’ll tell me to do and that I have already begun doing (again) recently–viz., keeping a daily journal. You’d think for someone who loves to write that I’d be able to journal regardless of my mental health but that is not the case for me. I think of so many favorite authors who struggled with depression, anxiety, manic-depression (bipolar disorder) and wonder how they were able to keep on keeping on? Must look into that more…

Anyway, when I’m depressed my limits include not having the energy to journal (or so I tell myself…I’m learning even a paragraph can be helpful). When I’m more anxious than usual I am the worst possible version of my recovering perfectionist self and can hardly stand to put words on the page, even though I have the energy. When I’m ramped up, well, that’s when most of my writing–and other forms of creativity–has occurred over the past eleven years of blogging (accompanied by waking up and eventually having to get up at unreasonably early hours to write, which then throws off my circadian rhythms which are already precarious because of my health issues).

So it’s a weird situation because when I’m experiencing mental stability I have to give increased attention to all the other parts of my life that I try desperately not to let slip through the cracks when I’m not doing as well and therefore it is my least productive writing time. I don’t know what that says about me as I’m always striving to do the things that encourage stability and you’d think a regular writing practice would surely bolster that. Whatever the case, it just feels good to be back in the saddle again, even if it’s only weekly. For those of you who have asked about the blog and encouraged me to reboot it, thank you for wanting to read more of my scribblings. It’s good to be back.

Writers’ Wednesday: Birth

This seems a fitting piece of verse for today, dedicated to writers everywhere.

Reading in any amount is good therapy

“And when I read, and really I do not read so much, only a few authors, – a few men that I discovered by accident – I do this because they look at things in a broader, milder and more affectionate way than I do, and because they know life better, so that I can learn from them.”
― Vincent van Gogh

Who of us couldn’t use more of this perspective? Well said, Vincent; well said. Rest in peace, brother.

Writers’ Wednesday

Madeleine L’Engle on Writing

One of my long-time favorite authors–going back four decades now!–and writing mentor (via her written words) always has such sage advice for writers. In fact an article titled “Words of Wisdom” in the June 2002 edition of The Writer was information collected and reprinted from the book I’ve mentioned elsewhere on this blog–Madeleine L’Engle: Herself–Reflections on a Writing Life (published the previous year). Here is a small excerpt of her advice to writers taken from that article. I think it is timeless and spot on. Not that I always follow it, but it’s great to aim for!

Three Recommendations

Read at least an hour a day. I try to read something I feel I ought to read for most of the time and then for a little bit of the time I read something just for sheer fun. [I do just the opposite these days, although for a long time it was the reverse.] Fun reading is important, and I think we underestimate reading for fun…

Part of your technique of writing is built by writing, and with this you should also have fun. I do think that keeping an honest, unpublishable journal is helpful. Include what you are thinking, what you are feeling, what you are responding to. Include what you are angry about that you heard on the news. Don’t talk about the news in terms of politics but in terms of your own life. What does this mean to you?

Write every day.

 

 

Writers’ Wednesday

Long day. Late night. Tired brain. But you, tireless reader, shall not be left without something to peruse since I have committed to providing you with grist for your writing mill. I’ll keep it short and sweet. It’s my three all-time favorite books about writing.

Madeleine L’Engle: Herself—Reflections on a Writing Life, compiled by Carole F. Chase

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, Anne Lamott

Freeing Your Creativity: A Writer’s Guide—How to write more and better than you ever thought you could, Marshall J. Cook

These gems are time tested classics for me and were instrumental in pushing me past thinking about writing (although I did journal, naturally) to actually writing. I hope at least one of them will be both inspirational and instructive in helping you take the next step in your unique writing journey.

Writers’ Wednesday

Are you a writer? If you journal, blog, write poems, lyrics, short stories, fan fiction, columns in your weekly parish bulletin, organization newsletter, or maybe even in your area magazine–if you do any of these things then you are a writer. You don’t have to have published novels, short stories, non-fiction books and magazine or periodical pieces (although if you have, you can mentor the rest of us.) Having said that, I want to encourage my fellow writers–and you know who you are!–to do whatever it takes to write more and see where it takes them. Maybe you’ll be motivated to start a blog. Or perhaps you’ll keep a private notebook of your creative outpouring. Writing, for some of us, is like a love-hate relationship. We love it when we’re writing. We hate it when we have writer’s block. Wherever you find yourself today, or sometime this week, do one small thing to nudge along your writing practice.

Here’s my example. I had another post written yesterday to put up today but then my computer ate it so instead of breaking into sobs and giving up (after all, it was close to bedtime and I do my best writing in the mornings) I just started over with something completely different and this is what came out. Hopefully someone finds it takes them to the next level in using their creativity. After all, if you’re not using it you could be depriving the world of something it needs and very well will make a difference in someone else’s life. I get that we’re all busy and sometimes feel too tired or uninspired to write. Just don’t let life pass you by without sharing your gift with the rest of us because we need to hear from you.

Writers’ Wednesday

I’d like to try featuring some regular posts about writing, writers, and perhaps even my own experience with working on crawling out from under my shell as a writer. So today is my first plunge into this venture. Join me as we explore together something that, I hope, will be of interest to those of us who are newer to this craft. Those of you who are more experienced are encouraged to fill the com box with your own inspiration, tips, resources, etc. Since there is so much written about writing I know I could just share favorite authors on writing, websites, and writing services but what I’d like to do is go beyond that, although I’m sure I’ll include a fair share of them along the way. Here we go!

I’d like to start with sharing a post from a wonderful author, blogger, and generally amazing online influence on me who has been an enormous inspiration to me long before I began blogging but was longing to do some kind of writing other than journaling. It didn’t hurt that during the years I homeschooled our approach to learning was so similar. I always wished she lived near me so I could meet her in person—still do!—because I felt we had so much in common. The versatile woman I speak of is none other than Karen Edmisten, a convert to Christianity (eventually Roman Catholic) from atheism, who has multiple book credits, has written for magazines, and maintains a unique online presence–plus she loves naps, as do I (an added bonus, in my opinion).

The story of how she came to find her own writing vocation can be found here:

http://karenedmisten.blogspot.com/2008/09/vocation-surrender-and-writing.html

I’ve reread it multiple times since first seeing it and printing it out for my own personal motivation to push past my fears about pursuing writing. But although I set up a blog domain, it took me until 2011 to overcome my anxiety about writing for anyone’s eyes other than my journal’s, even though I had published an article in a small magazine for the homeschool community in 1995, despite not yet having any children (the article being on infertility). In the intervening years, my chronic anxiety levels had become amped up and it wasn’t until the past few years or so that I was diagnosed with mood disorders, which explained, in part, the difficulty I was having with my writing (or lack of it, other than in fits and starts).

In my case, I think the biggest problem was I always secretly wanted to write fiction but never felt I was creative enough to do so, so much so that even when I would get something down on paper it started to overwhelm me almost instantly and I gave it up almost as soon as I started. Non-fiction is another matter. I can gab on my blog almost as easily as I can rant (my son’s favorite term for when I speak at length about any topic). Then one day it finally occurred to me: why am I trying to mentally think of myself only as a writer if: a) I write fiction, and b) I get published? I owe my release from that self-prison to Marshall J. Cook, author of Freeing Your Creativity: A Writer’s Guide—How to write more and better than you ever thought you could.

http://www.amazon.com/Freeing-Your-Creativity-PAPERBACK-PRINTING/dp/0898796644/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1423692014&sr=8-2&keywords=freeing+your+creativity

 

This quote of his from that very book is what finally liberated me:

“Not all writing has a large audience—or any audience at all. We write because we want to, because we need to, even because we have to. We write for what the process of writing can do for us and to us. For some of us, writing is as much a part of life—and as necessary—as breathing.”

Now I just try and follow the old adage, “Write what you know.”

For what it’s worth, the “Coach” (Marshall’s nickname) maintains a fun, contributor-friendly monthly newsletter for writers. I have found it a refreshingly unstuffy e-zine that always leaves me pondering both serious matters as well as usually laughing so hard it results in some level of inconvenience; a small price to pay for inspiration. You can find it here, including back issues:

http://continuingstudies.wisc.edu/writing/extra-innings/

So, if you also are a writer—and if you write then you are, whether or not it’s for anyone else’s eyes—what is holding you back from taking the next step in developing your craft? Or if you’ve already done that, it would be great to hear what helped you get over that hump.

Until next time…fellow writing nerds, keep writing if you want to keep breathing (not really, but it sounded cool!).

Ten Advents

Today is the first Monday in the first week of Advent. It also marks the tenth anniversary of having an Advent wreath and special family prayers. Individually I’ve pursued a variety of readings but have almost always spent Advent with Fr. Groeschel’s book for this liturgical season, and for very good reason, as I think as his words always seem fresh and tailored to that particular year’s needs. For example, here’s an excerpt for this day:

“I am the light of the world.” (John 8:12)

Advent must remind us of that possibility [the world with God’s grace and the promise of salvation]. I could cry when I think of all the decent people who live without hope. Christians must pray for these people, that they would experience Advent—literally the time of His coming in their own lives. [emphasis mine]

Behold, He Comes: Meditations On the Incarnation: Daily Reading from Advent to Epiphany, Benedict Groeschel, C.F.R.

This year also marks a change from our traditional wreath with tapers to an antiqued bronze wrought iron votive holder (minus the glass holders or votives, of course) that I found at a thrift store. I have no idea if it was ever intended to be a wall hanging Advent candle holder but decided it went well with our first Advent minus a coffee table, as using the dining table in the past was always cramped–and besides, we eat more meals in the living room than at the dining table (not that I’m proud of that, but it is what it is…). This more stark and yet beautiful in its own unique way holder of our Advent candles reminds me once again that our Savior really did come to save the whole world–in all its diversity–and how sad it must make Him when those who’ve been given a good introduction to Him turn–or perhaps just drift–away. Thankfully, He’s always just a prayer away.

P.S. A very blessed Advent to Fr. Groeschel, R.I.P., as this year he now spends it in the best possible place!

Of Madeleine and Me

Happy Birthday, Madeleine L’Engle!

What a treasure it has been to grow up with her in my life. From my first experience with her—first reading A Wrinkle in Time as a youngster—to enjoying the Austins’ and O’Keefes’ lives with them—then moving on to an assortment of her adult novels (A Severed Wasp is my favorite) and the Crosswicks journals. One thing Ms. L’Engle never did was sanitize life. She presented as it is: the good, the bad, the ugly, and the excruciatingly beautiful. She also expanded my mind in ways it most definitely needed expanding, often through multiple rereads (having an addiction for reliving my favorite authors’ books).

One of my favorite of her quotes is:

“We are homesick not so much for something that was, and was lost, as for something that will be, and is to be found.”

Her words on writing are of enormous encouragement to someone who has always wanted to be a writer–starting in childhood through journal writing (which has never completely stopped, but there have been seasons of life which seemed too painful to write down) and the rare short story, the occasional poem that continued through adulthood, then a short article and book review in a small circulation magazine in my 20s. My 30s were when I had our son and was totally across the country so most of my writing was in email, although around 40 I began to wonder if maybe I could write for publication at some point, but probably not until The Teen was grown and we had finished home education.

But several years ago I realized I didn’t have to wait until an empty nester–Madeleine didn’t–and began reading writers on writing and occasionally starting a short story or collecting ideas for possible writing projects, usually non-fiction. Then I began my blog, which has been more off than on due to my health issues and family priorities and eventually, once my health got really bad, I started binge watching TV or movies because reading was too hard and writing was inconceivable. As my next birthday will be the 50th, I want to make the most of whatever’s in me, so that I can be a conduit of grace to others as she and Elizabeth Goudge, Jan Karon, Judy Christie, Patricia Sprinkle, Dorothy L. Sayers, and Agatha Christie have been to me. It most likely won’t be via fiction writing but whatever I’m supposed to do I’m committing here, on the vigil of the first Sunday of Advent–and our very last day of this liturgical year–to a new outlook.

Recently, the most affirming words I’ve read in a long time came from her journal on her 40th birthday, at a time when she was experiencing piercing pain from publisher after publisher with their rejection letters and she had fallen into such great despondency that she decided she was meant to renounce her writing. But after a day of tears and a typewriter ensconced in a shroud, she finally came to a place where she realized something profound about herself.

“I have to write. That’s the gift I’ve been given. And even if I am never, ever published again it is still what I have to do…I’m glad I made that decision about myself as writer in the moment of utter darkness in the pits, because it’s very real…It was a very real decision. And it is a decision we all have to make.”

Madeleine L’Engle Herself: Reflections on a Writing Life, compiled by Carole F. Chase, from the chapter “The Discovery of the Vocation.”

In the response to the question, “What book changed your life?” writer Annie Dillard says:

A Wrinkle in Time saved me because it so captured the grief and sense of isolation I felt as a child. I was 8 years old when it came out, in third grade, and I believed in it–in the plot, the people and the emotional truth of their experience. This place was never a good match for me, but the book greatly diminished my sense of isolation as great books have done ever since. I must have read it a dozen times.”

From: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/25/books/review/anne-lamott-by-the-book.html?ref=books&_r=0

For those interested in learning more, the best website is
http://www.madeleinelengle.com/
where you can find Twitter and Facebook feeds, and a blog with unique and informative posts.

By the way, the day I found a hardcover copy of Wrinkle signed “Tesser well!” by the author was one of the most eerily joyful days of my life, as if I had connected with a writer whose books had helped me and whose words on writing always inspire me to just do it…or as Yoda would say, “Do or do not. There is no try.” And so now I’m doing just that. Thank you, Madeleine, for your honest revelations about the writing life but also thank you for writing, your contributions to your family, community, and the world at large. I look forward to meeting you one day when time has wrinkled for me and I’m no longer bound by chronos time but exist in complete kairos time.

P.S. I find it interesting that today is also C.S. Lewis’ birthday as well, another favorite author…“Coincidence? I think not!”

Of Gifts & Givers–and no, this isn’t a holiday post…

Whilst jamming out to “Sing, Sing, Sing”—which we always play at LEAST twice in a row in this house, as it’s mandatory, the Man of the House reminded me that Gene Krupa’s seriously pulse-pounding drumming was the influence behind a drummer whose music I first heard during my tweens in the mid 70s (gasp), Peter Criss, a.k.a. The Catman. This was courtesy of a family member who had taken up drumming (hi Mike!) and ever since high school I always loved Criss’ song “Beth”—especially playing it on the piano. As I got older my tastes in music eventually included hard rock and metal in high school, on top of all the other beloved genres I had already come to know and love, in great part to the delightfully eclectic tastes of my parents (thanks Da’ & Mom!). I continued to embrace pop, rock, jazz, classical, big band, military & patriotic marches, some opera & operetta, hymns (traditional/folk/contemporary), soundtrack scores (a major fave!), some country and CCM, plus now there was new wave. Then during my freshman year of college I found artists who defy genre to me (e.g., Steve Taylor & Bruce Cockburn). Thanks to my brain I’ve probably left something out–oh yeah, Dean Martin, Harry Connick, Jr. and their contemporaries for starters–but you get the drift. My interests were and continue to be as diverse as my ADHD brain (for which I usually thank the Good Lord for having because it’s allowed life to be anything but boring).

So, that brings me to the topic of this PSA: Gene Krupa is why Peter Criss is such an awesome drummer. As he himself said about Krupa:

He is the reason I play drums today. I love big bands. When I hear the word drums, I think Gene Krupa. He was a pioneer. He brought the drums up front. He was my idol. I got to talk to him and he really liked me. He gave me lessons for about six months...
He was great to take the time out to teach me. He once said to me, “You got it kid, You really got it.
I’ve never seen anyone who wants it so bad, so I’ll take the time out to teach you.”
Today when I do a drum solo I have that Drum Boogie Sound and nobody uses it.
The kids go wild but it’s not original. I’m doing something that was done in 1935.

So, just remember, ladies and gents, musicians, artists, writers, homemakers, gardeners, architects–to name but a few–and creatives of all types draw their inspiration from the most unlikely (to us) places, but God gives the gifts and whether or not the person using them recognizes that, He, The Creator and Ultimate Artist, is always the giver of gifts and we should seek to discover ours—if we don’t already know them—and use them, as they weren’t given for us but for the world, as unlikely as that often seems to us because we can’t see them as good enough to share. As one scared artist to others, STOP THAT! Let’s just press on the best we can and see what happens. After all, allowing ourselves to be the conduit by producing our work is what matters. After that whatever happens is really none of our concern. (Easy to say, hard to live; I know!)

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