Of blocks and blankets

25 Sep 2022 2 Comments

by Sabryna in The Writing Life Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Isaac Asimov said, “Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers.” I’ve always liked that quote and thought I could relate to it. But not today! This morning I started my new attempt at a weekly blog post and it didn’t write itself like they usually have done over the past decade or so. At some point I realized it was going to be me telling a story, and I’m not a good storyteller (too many rabbit trails!). So, I find myself once again sleep deprived, on medication changes, and otherwise experiencing just plain old writer’s block. It seemed this weekend would be without a post until I remembered that, of course, you can just tell your readers what’s going on–and so I am!

Since I always have something I’m jazzed about I’ll leave you this week with a resource to ponder pursuing if you or someone you know has anxiety, ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, bipolar disorder, depression, sensory processing issues, sleep issues, stress (who doesn’t?!) or a host of other conditions that would benefit from a weighted blanket. You’ve probably heard about them by now if you are neurodivergent or have someone in your life who is (again, who doesn’t?!) because they are so helpful to many of us with aneurotypical brains. My weighted blanket helps me the most with anxiety and relaxation–I’m one seriously uptight chick, after all, according to a source near and dear to me<g>–and has been a godsend for the past few years.

If you haven’t seen these already you can always do an online search. Mine happens to be a Mosaic weighted blanket–thanks to the generosity of family members (as they’re not inexpensive but they are extremely well made and allow you to get the amount of pressure your nervous system benefits from based on your size)–but apparently there’s utility to be found in a wide variety of weighted blankets. Their website is a good source of information on weighted blankets in general and will get you started thinking about whether investing in one might be useful for you.

https://www.mosaicweightedblankets.com/

Okay, now that I’ve shared that tidbit about myself and am relieved to see neither my brain nor fingers are totally broken, I’m going to go curl up on the recliner under my weighted blankie. Until next time, keep being you very well!

What Happened to the Blog?

09 Sep 2022 9 Comments

by Sabryna in The Writing Life Tags: , , , , ,

So some of you may wonder what happened to my blogging after the pandemic started and I decided to reboot it. Well, the answer is that our beloved Basenji developed kidney failure and other age-related health problems and in much too short a span of time we had to say goodbye to my precious Piggly (otherwise known as Rascal). That put me into a new level of depression and ramped up my anxiety so much that writer’s block ensued.

As time stretched on with the pandemic and I had to self-quarantine due to being high-risk, I became socially isolated and this definitely did nothing to improve my mental health. A decline in mental health equals a decline in my writing, unfortunately for me. So I blogged in my head, more or less, or at the very least thought of blog fodder and got frustrated because I had severe writer’s block most of the past year and a half.

Next week I’ll ask my therapist to help me with this issue. I’m pretty sure I know at least one thing she’ll tell me to do and that I have already begun doing (again) recently–viz., keeping a daily journal. You’d think for someone who loves to write that I’d be able to journal regardless of my mental health but that is not the case for me. I think of so many favorite authors who struggled with depression, anxiety, manic-depression (bipolar disorder) and wonder how they were able to keep on keeping on? Must look into that more…

Anyway, when I’m depressed my limits include not having the energy to journal (or so I tell myself…I’m learning even a paragraph can be helpful). When I’m more anxious than usual I am the worst possible version of my recovering perfectionist self and can hardly stand to put words on the page, even though I have the energy. When I’m ramped up, well, that’s when most of my writing–and other forms of creativity–has occurred over the past eleven years of blogging (accompanied by waking up and eventually having to get up at unreasonably early hours to write, which then throws off my circadian rhythms which are already precarious because of my health issues).

So it’s a weird situation because when I’m experiencing mental stability I have to give increased attention to all the other parts of my life that I try desperately not to let slip through the cracks when I’m not doing as well and therefore it is my least productive writing time. I don’t know what that says about me as I’m always striving to do the things that encourage stability and you’d think a regular writing practice would surely bolster that. Whatever the case, it just feels good to be back in the saddle again, even if it’s only weekly. For those of you who have asked about the blog and encouraged me to reboot it, thank you for wanting to read more of my scribblings. It’s good to be back.

Looking to God

19 Nov 2017 2 Comments

by Sabryna in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

Currently I have been struggling with a new source of stress in a year–actually two, to be honest–of great frustration. As I caught myself starting to sink under the weight of the stress I reached out to God via all my characteristic ways of coping and held on for dear life to the assurance that God is in control. Still, the sense of being overwhelmed did not leave. Thoughts of the stressor constantly invaded my mind–thanks ever so much, anxiety disorder–and despite my repeated use of my faith tools I found myself sinking.

As soon as I could this past week I consulted an older and wiser dear friend who has seen much suffering in her life. Her observation was that perhaps I was looking at the problem too much and not at God enough. I reflected on that and realized she was right. In the necessary course of things there were tasks I had to complete as a result of the change in circumstances and yet once those were complete I was still wrestling with the whole thing instead of giving it to God. Clearly this was enough of a stressor that I would need to keep giving it back to Him in surrender to Divine Providence, which reminded me of a beloved book, Abandonment to Divine Providence. (NB–It is also translated as The Sacrament of the Present Moment and my preferred translator is Kitty Muggeridge.) Time to pull it out and start steeping myself in its truths as yet another tool to fight the battle of doubt and worry about how God will provide for us in all of our needs.

Is there anything you’re struggling with today? Perhaps you are–like me–getting a little too focused on the problem and not enough on the solution: looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith (Heb 12:2). As we approach Thanksgiving and then the end of another liturgical year, with the feast of Christ the King to look forward to, may we be thankful that our God truly is ordering all things in our life together for good (Rom 8:28).

At Ease in God

05 Feb 2015 Leave a comment

by Sabryna in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , ,

“Let God be the air in which your heart breathes at ease.”

St. Francis de Sales

Wowzers! What a difference that would make in the life of those of us who struggle with—okay, are plagued by—constant anxiety and/or depression, self-doubt, a lack of purpose, etc. I can barely imagine that as I’ve had anxiety issues all my life but only recognized them for what they were during the past few years. Whether they are neurological in origin or related to trust issues (with God and/or other people)—or a need to control or have everything perfect—anxiety issues will suck the life right out of you without you even realizing it.

If you’re fortunate enough to have a loving family member or friend who can help you to see this and you get help, things will get better. I promise. But you will always have to work at it, because that’s just the way anxiety is. It’s not going to give up its hold on you because it doesn’t want to and in a way you don’t want it to either—it’s probably your modus operandi, your coping mechanism, your safety net. You somehow convince yourself if you just think enough about these things—especially all the things that might happen—it will somehow help. Let me assure you that it won’t. But if you work at not being anxious, you will learn to be less anxious.

Here’s the best authority I know on the subject. Jesus told us,

“I am telling you not to worry about your life and what you are to eat, nor about your body and what you are to wear. Surely life is more than food, and the body more than clothing! Look at the birds in the sky. They do not sow or reap or gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they are? Can any of you, however much you worry, add one single cubit to your span of life?…So do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Mt 6:25-27, 34

Interesting “coincidence”: when I went to my new Bible–not one that’s been opened to favorite passages yet–to verify my reference and flipped forward to Matthew, being pretty sure it was there in the Sermon of the Mount–it opened immediately to the page for chapter six; I love it when that happens!

I’ll also share a couple of my favorite authors’ writing on this topic because they are also worriers who have learned many valuable lessons from their own struggles and have been willing to share them with others. The first is my choice of spiritual reading for this Lent. It may seem like an odd choice for that purpose but I believe the more practical we are in applying our faith the faster we can grow in union with Christ. The second choice is by a well known author who has also written extensively about ADHD, which also often comes with anxiety, as do bipolar disorder, depression and other mood disorders, something I know about firsthand.

For Lent I’ll be rereading writing coach, novelist, and general all around great guy Marshall Cook’s excellent How to Handle Worry: A Catholic Approach, along with its companion workbook, HTHW: ACA—praying your way through anxiety. As Marshall says in the introduction:

“If you’ve been suffering for a long time, change may seem impossible. By yourself it would be. But with God, all things are possible. Use this book as a guide as you surrender yourself—including all those worries—more fully to God.”

Disclosure: from what I recall from my first read a few years ago—as a convert to the Catholic Church from Protestantism 10 years ago—this book and its workbook can certainly be used by non-Catholics. There are just occasional times when there will be references to faith practices which differ.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Handle-Worry-Marshall-Cook-ebook/dp/B005F1Q7U6/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=1-1&qid=1423158101

The second book, Worry: Hope and Help for a Common Condition—Turn chronic worry into a positive force in your life, is an excellent read in its own right by the wonderful writer and well-known psychiatrist Dr. Edward Hallowell and concludes with a wonderful chapter on “50 Tips on the Management of Worry Without Using Medication”—not that the author is against medication, as he is not, but he brings a whole person approach to the problem because that is what it as well as other neurologically based conditions require.

http://www.amazon.com/Worry-Edward-M-Hallowell-Md-ebook/dp/B004JHYRQI/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=1-1&qid=1423159941

I hope you will find something in the above that will help you to breathe more easily in God.

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